i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
