Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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