You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
