it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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