mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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