Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
