She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
