you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
then he tried to convert me to islam
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize