Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
