I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
