Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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