I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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