the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
try to milk me bitch
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
