Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
