5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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