I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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