You really coming over, don't trick.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
