Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
