ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
