FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
