I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
