NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
