Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
