just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
