You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
