Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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