I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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