Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
