idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
