mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
