I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
