Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
