Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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