Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
