Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
