All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
