so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
