Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
