So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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