yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
