I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
