people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
