I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
