I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
