he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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