yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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