He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My dick has a subreddit
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize