I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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