Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
