btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
