I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Randomize