I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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