Soap is not a condiment
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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