We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
