so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
