I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
