The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
