so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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