I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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